Best Friends?

What makes marriage work? What makes it last? I have been married for 29 years but I don’t have it all figured out. I do have some ideas. I think I am on to a few things.

One thing that must happen in marriage: become best friends. Romantic feelings can be so fickle. Building a marriage on romance is building a house on the sand.  I am all for romance and passion. In fact, I am a big fan. But something else makes for a firmer foundation. That something  is friendship. Marriage cannot go the distance without it.

Does that idea sound foreign to you? When you consider who your  best friend is, does your spouse’s face even enter the picture?

Let’s test the friendship component of your marriage. Here are some questions that will help you determine the quality of your marital friendship:

  • Do you enjoy spending time with your spouse?
  • Do you look forward to being alone with your spouse or do you dread the time you must spend together?
  • Do you ever actually spend time…just the two of you…without the kids or other couples present?
  • When you are alone, what do you talk about?
  • Do you have deep conversations? Or, do you just discuss the details of running your household?
  • Do you have interests in common? What activities do you both like to do?
  • Are you willing to do things that the other person loves to do — just so you can be with them?
  • If you could pick one person to spend an evening with, would it be your spouse?
  • What do you think is fun? Is it more or less fun when done with your spouse?
  • Does being together bring out the best in both of you…or the worst?

What do you think of these questions? What other questions would you add to this list? I would love to hear from you.

“This is my lover, this is my friend,”

(Song of Songs 5:16, NIV)

The Vow: A True Story of Enduring Love and Commitment

Imagine that within the first blissful months of marriage, the person you love most in the wo rld Imagemiraculously survives a near-fatal car crash,… and awakes with no memory of you at all. In “The Vow,” Kim and Krickitt Carpenter recount this incredible experience. Here’s an excerpt.

via ‘The Vow’: A true story of love and enduring commitment – books –

Oh, man! I guess I am going to have to see this movie now.  I am not a chick-flik fan but this is based on a true story. This couple has written a book. The link contains an excerpt of their book as well as an interview on the Today Show.  The interview is powerful! The Carpenters have a strong Christian faith that is central to their story.

UPDATE:  My wife and I went to see this movie last night.  Unfortunately, it did not deliver as I had hoped.  I wondered how Hollywood, a major studio, would deal with the Christian themes of this story.  The answer is that they ignored them.  Crystie is soon to read the book. I’ll be interested in her take on the book versus the movie.